This Post is Dedicated to Everyone Freaking Out Right Now

So today I was feeling depressed, as I was yesterday, about the state of the world. About how white supremacy continues to be normalized despite the violence in Charlottesville. About how our own president is basically a white supremacist. About how someone could be holding a rally in Cleveland sometime soon and friends of mine could wind up getting hurt, because I know a lot of people who would show up to the counter-protest (note: this isn’t a criticism. You’re all super brave and I love you). About how this could be the beginning, and that my friends of color could be targeted by white supremacist violence. And I was generally feeling powerless.

And then, on my twitter feed, something weird happened. Patrick Rothfuss was tweeting about a Kickstarter he’s promoting, when all of a sudden things got real.

I remember thinking two things. The first was “Aw, Pat, not you, too!” and the second was “Wow. It’s like my thoughts are getting reflected back at me.” Because I had been thinking about similar things. And suddenly, I knew exactly how to respond.

After I had sent the tweets, I looked back at what I had written. And I realized that I had found the words that I needed to hear myself. This was the key to getting myself out of my funk and continuing to live my life. Because to give in isΒ exactly what those people want. They want us to be afraid, to spend our every waking moment terrified that they may be coming to our town next, or that we won’t be able to protect our loved ones. And it’s up to us to prove them wrong.

We have to keep going, because that is how we hold on to what we love. It’s how we keep the dream of beauty and the goodness of humankind alive. We have to keep living our lives and creating beautiful things.

So to Patrick Rothfuss, myself, and to everyone else who may be freaking the hell out right now, I’d just like to say, do your best. Create good work. Raise your kids to be amazing people. Cultivate goodness and beauty in all that you do. Because to do otherwise is to let the fascists win. So promote that Kickstarter, or make that comic, or build your Patreon following, or whatever you need to do. The beauty of human life is that it keeps going, no matter what.

In other words,

Incidentally, this is what the poster was originally referring to, before it became a meme. Let’s bring that meaning back.

Political Depression

I’ll be honest: I’m in a bad state of mind and it’s not getting better. And it’s mainly to do with politics.

Charlottseville shocked me. And had we, as a country, come together to denounce white supremacy, I might have recovered sooner. Instead we got a president who equivocated and a conservative movement that was willing to defend him for doing so. I was amazed by the number of people who tried to tell me the counter-protesters were just as bad as the Nazis, as if that isn’t tantamount to tacitly supporting them. So now I’m scared for our country and questioning my friendships.

Naturally, this is making my depression get really, really bad. Facebook is exacerbating it, but I can’t quit Facebook because I rely on it too much. It’s the main way my D&D group gets in touch. Twitter is better but not perfect, but again there are people who I can only tall to on twitter. Even worse, if I want to grow my blog, one of the best ways to interact with readers is social media.

I am constantly inundated with article after article that makes me question just how selfish and evil and close-minded people can be. I try to get out of it for a few hours but I can’t seem to stay away. I want to be an informed citizen, but I have a hard time feeling like I can do anything. I feel powerless to change the country.

I feel like I’m drowning. This is the worst I’ve felt in a long time. Not even losing my job was this stressful.